Monday, February 28, 2011

And somehow the world is still spinning.

its crazy how a month can slip away while your not looking.
The clock is still moving, pages of the calendar are turning,
but somehow I'm stuck in the goings on of the past.
Its like a mud puddle of feelings, keeping my feet in the ground.
I'm trying to move on, but my past is consuming me. 
I'm trying to push it away,
but instead its holding me down.

So here i stand watching the world spin around me,
time is going by yet I stand in my past
not moving forward,
but stuck in the "what ifs" of my past.

Sunday, February 27, 2011

Saved by you.

I came to my knees,
and you came to my level.

I was falling apart,
and you put me back together.

Your loving arms created me,
and you restored that creation.

I don't deserve this restoration,
that keeps bringing me back to life.

But when you hung upon that cross,
I received this beautiful redemption.

So here I am, caught in this world again,
and here you are bring me back to what matters.

Friday, February 25, 2011

those butterflies.

I"m thinking that going back to school on monday, and attempting to focus for six hours in a day will be a colossal disaster..why?

I. cant. seem .to .get. you .off . my. mind.

Its a matter of priorities really.

I'm thinking its more important to worry about my stomach potentially exploding its so full of butterflies the next time I see you, then it is to remember  the difference between a vertex and a line of symmetry.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

I didnt mean to want to let go.

You were my star in this dark sky.
You were the positive thought that helped me forget.
You were the one who made me smile everytime you came online.

And now I'm letting you get away. 
No, on second thought I'm pushing you away.
I don't know why, my heart just seems to be telling me to let go
And that its time to move on.

  I feel like I'm messing up the one part of my life I can actually control
Like I'm throwing away my one constant, just to throw in some more confused

I dont know how this happened,
I meant to always fall for you
But I accidentally started falling,
For something new.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

I'm still your princess.

I just want you to know that I'll never stop loving you.
I dont care what happens, or what we go through,
I'll always love you more than you can imagine
I will forever  be your little princess.
That little girl you pushed on the swings,
and piggy backed around for hours,
She's still here.
And she still thinks you are her everything.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

This beautiful world.

Beautiful Mountains.
          Towering trees.
   Perfectly sparkling snow.
             Amazingly shining sun.
Today was pretty much the most amazing day for snowboarding, as well as breathtakingly beautiful everywhere you look.

 I'm not really sure how a person could see this how beautifully this falls together, yet believe in evolution?

I love my God.
His creation is nothing short of perfect.

Saturday, February 19, 2011

my heart has a mind of its own.

I didnt mean for this too happen

I had it all figured out.

But somehow everytime I see you,


Friday, February 18, 2011

The heart or the brain? Probably neither =)

My brain is telling me one thing,
My heart is saying something completely different.

I'm trying to think logically,
But I want to do what makes me happy.

I don't know what to follow.
I don't know what to do.
All I know is that I seem to be
falling for you.

This isn't how its supposed to go,
I had it all figured out,
But nobody warned me that my heart might go wild.

So now I need to decide
to follow my brain,
or to follow my heart?

Or I know..
maybe I'll just follow my God.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

"Just another ordinary miracle today"

Today was one of those days I just loved, without anything spectacular happening. Just a whole bunch of little things that made me smile. Heres some of them:

Stripy socks: they make me smile.. a lot
Cozy cardigans: If you know me you well, you know that this is somewhat of an obsession
Sparkly Snow: Our God made this world so beautiful, my walk to school was wonderful
Ipod: Don't you love it when songs come up on shuffle that suit your mood bettter than any playlist?
Heart shaped sugar cookies: Who cares if Valentines is over? Im pretty sure I'm never gonna stop loving!

These little things made me smile my way through today.  I am so blessed to have little things that bring me joy.

"Its not that unusual, when everything is beautiful. Its just another ordinary miracle today."
Ordinary Miracle- Sarah McLachlan


Wednesday, February 16, 2011

To love like a child.

Have you ever had a moment that just makes your day?
Just the littlest thing that makes you smile for hours?

 I had one of those moments tonite. While driving home from swimming with my  girls club girls ( an event i had been dreading a little to tell you the truth) I was  having a really great chat with another leader. The girls in the back were being there usual wonderfully noisy selves, and for the most part we were tuning them out for the sake of our conversation.   After a while though, my girls started trying to get my attention, and telling me that they had something important to tell me.  Expecting some sort of strange knock knock joke, or maybe even just more chaotic screaming, I turned around to see what they needed.To my surprise, they were all silent, and then started reciting the Lord's prayer. They said it perfectly in unison, all six of them, a couple of them were even closing there eyes, remembering that they were talking to jesus. I know this is just a little thing, but it made my day.

Jesus I long for
that childhood innocence
seeing nothing but your love.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

The Best thing.

You know whats crazy?

Its seems like the greatest thing isn't the bad times being over. I don't feel my very best when  everything is going alright. And I'm not my very closest to God when life seems to be continuing as normal.

The greatest thing is having somebody there to comfort me when I'm falling apart. I feel the very best warm down to the core feeling when I know how much someone loves me, and wants to talk, even when I'm having a bad day. And when I'm at my lowest, God seems to always be there to pick me us with his strong, loving arms.

Thankyou friends for being there no matter what.
Thankyou Jesus for helping me grow closer to you in these valleys.


Monday, February 14, 2011

This Love.

                   "We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in his love"
                     1 John 4:16

" These three things will last forever; faith, hope and love;
but the greatest of these is love."
    1 Corinthians 13:13

                      "Whoever does not love, does not know God, because God is love."
                       1 John 4:8

          "And over all these virtues, put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity."
            Colossians 3:14

                               " Greater love has no one than this, that he laid down his life for his friends."
                                  John 15:13

" For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only  son. So that whoever  believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life."
John 3:16

We serve a God of love.  Not only does he express love, in ways completely unimaginable, but he himself is the very definition of love. This unbelievably perfect quality that seems unattainable by humans. I mean, of course we love each other. But the love that God gives us is so perfect, flawless, and undying that it cannot even compare to the love we have for each other. So this valentines day, being my wonderfully single self, I decided to focus instead on how grateful I am for the most perfect abundant love that is being poured out on me all the time. A love so deep that my father, my best friend, my teacher, my mentor, and my saviour can be my everything.  Who needs cheesy cards and flowers when you have that deep of a love going for you?  Oh how  I love this love. Oh I how i love my Jesus.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

"if grace is an ocean, we're all sinking."

 My God never gives up on me.
                  I mess up,
       I lose faith,
                              I lose trust,
and I sometimes even give up on him.

but Still he remains
and he never gives up hope on me.

                 "He loves us, oh how he loves us."

Saturday, February 12, 2011


Im starting to think i belong in a dreamland.
The realities of this world aren't really for me.

Someday I'd like everyone to see the bigger picture,
that we were made to glorify the one who made us.

Id like to be where love lasts forever,
Instead of just something you can get up and leave.

Id like to find a place where the hurt goes away,
and saying sorry is more than just words.

In this dreamland it wouldn't be about us,
or what we could do to help ourselves.

But I know this isn't where we are,
we're caught in this crazy world.

I know we cant fix all these things that are wrong,
But will you just come dream with me?

Friday, February 11, 2011

days like these.

Its days like these 
that make the hard ones more bearable

Its nights like these
that make me look on the bright side

Its times like these
when i remember how blessed i am

just to be here living this life
and knowing i'm not alone.

My friends have got me
My family has got me,

My Jesus has got me.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

I dont want to let this consume me,
    I want to control my own life,
or at least leave it in the hands of my father.

But somehow I'm being taken over
         by a wave of emotions that cant be tamed,
I want to be stronger,
           but this is pulling me down.
So maybe im in a valley,
 im feeling a little low,
 But have you ever noticed 
that nothing grows on mountaintops,
but Valleys are full of flowers?

I may hate this now
somedays I just want it to be over.
But my Jesus made this earth, 
and he knows how things work.

He knows we'll grow in the valleys,
when the times are crazy,
he can help us to grow,
grow closer to him.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

 I need to trust that my Jesus has got me.
I need to remember that he's holding me so close.

 I don't know how i could forget how much he loves me,
the evidence is everywhere.

But somehow I'm lost in this world, 
tying to look up
but getting sucked back over and over.

I dont understand how this world works,
but I want to look to the only one who does.

Monday, February 7, 2011

I thought I had this figured out.
Everything else was going crazy,
but this was my stable point,
my positive thought.

And then somehow
my emotions went against everything I knew,
or at least thought i knew.

I guess that God has a way of doing that,
showing us that we don't have it figured out,
 only he does.

i want you to remember that I'll never forget

Somehow we've all ended up here, 
just a group of people growing up,
and trying to figure out what that even means.

We Don't share the same story,
our pasts are as different as night and day, 
but we're all apart of each others present,
like stars in our skies.

No matter what happens,
whether the future keeps us together or not,
you'll always be in my memories,
those girls that stayed through all the dark,
and helped me start living for more.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Everyone needs a friend,
who you can see just a couple times a year, but always manage to pick up where you left off,
who can have awkward silent moments without it being awkward,
who brings out the best of you when your at your worst, 
who loves you just because your you.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Amazing grace

I hate how:
i seem to fall off the path that God has created for me
      and over,
                  and over.

But I love more than anything:
That when i realize, i need back on,
that I need him to take my life,
 He's always there,
with loving arms,
to help me up.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Just a thought

Sometimes I wish I could see God's plan for my life.
Just a little look, to make sure his promise is really true, that he does have a plan.
I know thats not the point, and that I'm supposed to trust that He's got it,
but I'm getting a little impatient.
I want so badly to follow,
But I just want to figure out the point of this life.
Is that too much to ask?