Grace.

I've lost track of all the "I love you's" I've heard said.
I've lost track of all the meals I've had placed on my table.
I've lost track of all the people that have prayed with me.
I've lost track of all the bible studies I've attended. 
I've lost track of all the times I've gone to sleep in a warm bed.
I've lost track of all the people I've had the opportunity to pray for.
I've lost track of all the days I've spent getting a free quality education.
I've lost track of all the clothes I have had the money to buy.
I've lost track of all the places I've visited.
I've lost track of all the times I've gotten in a vehicle, to go somewhere I could walk.

I've lost track of all the times I've sinned: Lied, cheated, gossiped, stolen, judged,  and so much more.. deserving only death.

And somehow I'm still blessed enough to have all this. If grace is an ocean, we're all sinking.

do.

So I've decided that I'm bored of not doing. I'm actually quite bothered by the idea of my walk with Christ revolving around what I'm not doing. I think that Christianity can so easily be misconceived as the idea of not doing things making us better people; and thats  totally not the point. I really don't think that not drinking excessively, not swearing, or not smoking can make you a Christian. I mean don't get me wrong, I disagree with all of  those things,  but I feel like what your not doing is such a small part of the story. Instead, why cant we focus on what we are doing to reach out to this hurting world? And what we are doing to show others how fantastic a relationship with the creator of this world really is? I fear that we're hiding behind the lie that we can base our faith journeys on what we don't do, because we're afraid to step out and "do". Its so much easier to just be the kid that doesn't go to parties, then it is to  be the kid that steps out and makes an impact on every life they possibly can, no matter what they "do" or "don't do." I know that God will do absolutely fantastic things with anyone who is willing to abandon everything (including their fear) and step out to glorify his name. 

The question of the year..

"What are you doing next year Tannis?" "Hey Tannis, what are your plans for next year?" "So Tannis, have you decided what next years gonna bring for you?"  "where are you going next year?"


are you getting my point? This seems to be the most popular topic of conversation no matter where I  show up these days. Not that I mind really, I'm actually quite excited to go try something new. Theres only one slight problem... THIS MEANS THAT I"M GROWING UP!!!!!!!! I think that is a little much to handle (for both me and the world).  I mean, everybody's been dreaming about what their going "be when they grow up" since they could talk I'm pretty sure, but now its supposed to be a reality? I'm actually supposed to "be" something other than a high school student? Thats a little intimidating of a suggestion for my liking. I mean, I know that God has a plan and such, but the whole actually living it out part is where I start to shake, and I'm pretty sure hyper ventilating is the next step.


 So be on the look out for a crazy curly haired teenager in some sort of unfortunate state of shock.. its probably me thinking about facing my future!

Catch up.

Wow, been long enough since I posted on here?.  I'm not sure why, it most certainly has not been a boring two months. Heres a quick recap of some crazy adventures this summer.

 July: So I spend my first month of summer at SABC; it was nothing short of wonderful. The program I did was called Teleios, which is a super fancy greek word that means becoming mature and complete. I spent the first two weeks getting to know everyone in my program, in ways you can barely imagine. We did all sorts of these crazy "group development activities" that were incredibly challenging, but pretty great memories to look back on. We also spent a lot of time doing bible studies, and learning how absolutely incredible God is. I fell even more head over heels in love with my creator and my saviour, and it was amazing to really get to know him more. The last two weeks I was there, I got the opportunity to Jr. Counsel. God blew my mind in such amazing ways. Both weeks I was blessed with amazing senior counsellors, whom I learned so much from, and built amazing friendships with. All of the kids I got to see God at work in all of the kids I counselled, in ways big and small. It amazed me to see what God could do through me, but in a way it was humbling to see that it was God working in me, I was simply the messenger he worked through. I often found myself feeling discouraged and confused if I didn't set time aside each day to spend with Jesus. Although  a challenge, it was incredible to see his power.  It was an amazing month, and definitely changed me.

August: Well, I worked, I worked, oh and did I mention I worked? Being home was definitely different. It was really interesting to see my " camp bubble" popped, and  to test out how much I had really changed, when I wasn't in an environment  completely surrounded by people who felt the same way I did.  It was a challenge, but God  for sure showed me that he was bigger than any challenges this world can bring, and that I can live for him through all of it. I also got to spend a lot of time reconnecting with friends, and doing some crazy stuff with them, I don't know what I'd ever do without those guys (:

So now I'm attempting to get back into the swing of things.. back to school, youth is starting up soon, Girls club and mentorship are getting started too. I'm officially a twelfth grader, so thats kinda cool. Im ready to make this last year an excellent one!!

"Summer is where the girls go barefoot, and their hearts are just as free as their toes" - annonymous

Well, what do you know.. my very first post as a not grade eleven student!! I'm movin up in the world folks!! Well, as much as you can call moving from grade eleven to grade twelve a step up! More importantly though, being done grade eleven means that its summer!!! Heres a glimpse at all of the exciting things i am soo looking forward too:

a) camp is in t-13 days
b) in t-13 days I am going to camp
c)thirteen days from now, I will be at camp
d) in one day less that two weeks from now, camp will be my place of attendance
e)The month of July is fast approaching, and on the third day of this month i will make my way to camp.

 Catching my drift? Im just a little excited (: . I cant wait to see God work in so many amazing ways. Spending a month focusing on him will be great, and I am so ready to dive in!!!

the first big step!

So currently I am sitting in Social class. But not just any social class. This my friends is the VERY last high school Social class I will ever ever sit in on a Thursday afternoon. Am I excited? yes, of course I am.. this is one step closer to freedom! One step closer to being out of this jungle of a high school! But I must say, I'm also rather terrified. Not only does this mean I have a diploma to write in T-5 days, but it also means I am one step closer to freedom! Having to make decisions by myself? No more high school walls to determine how I spend five days of my week? I feel like that involves responsibility; and I can't say I'm ready for that! Granted, this is only one grade twelve class,  I am most certainly still a grade eleven. But still,  this is a rather monumental step i believe, actually being finished a core class!  I am terrified, excited, and in need of studying instead of blogging... perhaps the next time you hear from me I will be able to join the members of society that can say they completed an entire core class.. Grades one to twelve! Maybe i should spend some time actually working in that class now...