Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Believe and be satisfied... annonymous

Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone, to have a deep soul relationship with another, to be loved thoroughly and exclusively. But, to the Christian, God says,
“No, not until you are satisfied and fulfilled and content with living loved by Me alone, with giving yourself totally and unreservedly to Me, to have an intensely personal and unique relationship with Me alone. I love you, my child, and until you discover that only in Me is your satisfaction to be found, you will not be capable of the perfect human relationship that I have planned for you. You will never be united with another until you are united with Me – exclusive of any other desires and longing. I want you to stop planning, stop wishing, and allow Me to give you the most thrilling plan existing – one that you cannot imagine. I want you to have the BEST. Please allow Me to bring it to you. You keep watching Me, expecting the greatest things. Keep that satisfaction, knowing that I AM. Keep learning and listening to the things I tell you; and you must wait.

Don’t be anxious, and don’t worry. Don’t look around at the things others have gotten or that I have given them. Don’t look at the things you think you want. Just keep looking off and away and up to Me, or you’ll miss what I have to show you.

And then, when you’re ready, I’ll surprise you with a love far more wonderful than you would ever dream. You see, until you are ready, and until the one I have for you is ready (I am working right this minute to have both of you ready at the same time), and until you are both satisfied exclusively with Me and the life I’ve prepared for you, you won’t be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with Me, and his is the perfect love.

And, My dear one, I want you to have this most wonderful love. I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your relationship with Me, and enjoy materially and sincerely the everlasting union of beauty and perfection and love that I offer you Myself. I love you utterly. I AM God Almighty.
Believe and be Satisfied.”


Monday, March 28, 2011

I'm Home.

And all of a sudden its back.
I'm in love, and its a love like no other.
I cant get enough of you,
all of a sudden your word has come alive,
and I want so badly to discover every part of it.
I've missed this ever growing passion,
this love sweeping over every part of my being.
and I've never felt such satisfaction,
feeling your love as I run back home.

Friday, March 25, 2011

I want that back.

I'm looking for a hint of motivation,
Im searching for a piece of inspiration,
I want to fall in love,
with loving you again.

You died for me.
How can I find it so hard 
to live for you?

I want that love back,
I want this life to be more of you
and less of what I want.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

I never thought you'd run.

I didn't realize that me letting go
would mean that you would run away.

I was tired of  fighting so hard to maintain this friendship,
when I wasn't even sure I belonged.

But I didn't think that would mean you would forget it ever happened,
it makes me wonder if you were really holding on in the first place.

I wonder if you ever would have been there to hold my hand when I couldn't walk alone,
or if that shoulder to cry on was all in my head.

So maybe it was time to let go,
I'll just stay here and you watch you run away.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011


I           wish       our                   could           of        than
  really         that       relationship         consist    more

walking      eggshells.

I        I            afraid    tell      that       not       perfect
wish    wasn't          to      you       I'm       the            girl

you've            wanted.

And   wish       could     that  am            but     cant    perfect.
       I        you        see      I      trying,         I         be

I know that you love me despite all this. But i wish that you loved me for trying, rather than loving me despite the fact that my trying isn't good enough.

Sunday, March 13, 2011

The Prodigal son...or at least how I see it.

 19 I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired servants.’ 20 So he got up and went to his father. “But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.21 “The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.

So this is just a tiny excerpt of the prodigals son, from Luke fifteen. I'm sure you've all heard the story before. Its pretty much my favorite ever. Sometimes I hate admitting it, but I feel like I can completely relate to the son in the story. I know I mess up all the time. And sometimes i get frustrated and turn away from my Daddy.. even though he's so perfect that he sent his son to die for me. But despite that, i sometimes mess up, and think I can do this without him. And sure enough, not too much later I realize just how much I need him. And i realize that he is everything I need. And everytime I feel incredibly stupid for forgetting this in the first place. And I feel ashamed to go back to my father and admit how much i've messed up. But somehow  his grace is always still there. The picture this story of the father running and just embracing his son is amazing. And its exactly how I feel everytime I go back to my Daddy. I feel his embrace, his grace, his love that endures no matter what. And that perfect love is what i find worth living for.

Saturday, March 12, 2011

springing forward.

lately i find myself wishing i could go back.
I wish could have things the way they used to be.
Tonight its just an hour, 
but I feel like I'm always "springing forward"
into some unexpected situation
causing less sleep.
Somehow it seems like the time
isn't the only thing that's changing lately.

Friday, March 11, 2011

Bakery Terms

So at my job there are a few  things  that may seem odd to a person who doesn't spend their days there.. heres a couple of them:

BrEaD MuD : the awkward substance you get when bread crumbs are mixed with mop water in attempt to wash the floor. It is almost inevitable that this will be stuck to your pants and the bottom of your shoes by the time you leave the place. you cant leave it behind no matter how hard you try. Its pretty much just a very stinky "I work at the bakery" sign for anyone to see once you leave the building.

Co-WoRkErS: The people who you are initially paid to be with, but somehow become your best friends. Somehow scraping balls of dough off the bottom of tables creates an inseparable relationship between people. Everyone has some certain crazy traits, and they  occasionally rub off onto one another. No matter where you are in life, you cant leave these relationships behind. The random inside jokes you utter to strangers are pretty much just an unforgettable " I work at the bakery" sign for anyone to see once you leave the building.

I love my job.. thats a fact of life

Thursday, March 10, 2011

the middle.

I feel like I'm stuck in the middle.

The middle of my own emotions,

the middle of the feelings of others,

the middle  of the actions of others,

and the middle of who i am,

who I was,

and who I want to be.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

We're all his [:

So i know told you about my girls club girls for the past three weeks now, and your probably getting bored of it.. but this is my blog... and I do what I want! so if your bored of this, don't read it!!!

Tonight we went to the sunny south lodge to  do a little program for the seniors. It was wonderful. The girls all sang the songs they have been practising all year, performed a little skit, and then some of them played an instrument, or sang a song by themselves. When we were done, each of the girls gave a flower to one of the seniors. It was absolutely amazing to see. Theres something cool about  seeing people just beginning there walks of life bringing a smile to the faces of those reaching the end. It seems to close that gap of age in a way. Bringing joy to one another with these simple things shows me that we are all equally perfect and beautiful in the eyes our father. Whether we see through the amazing eyes of potential and opportunity like my girls, or the equally beautiful eyes of experience and memory like the people they sang too, we  should all see one thing. Together we are all the same in this; we are all God's children:

One Happy Family

      One Human Family.

Monday, March 7, 2011

I'm not sure if you know how much this means.

i hope you know
  how much those little words of encouragement
                                                             mean to me.
Its the little things like that
   that get me through the day,
     the week,
          this crazy high school life.

     The little things that people say
     are what make me live for more.
And realize who I can be.

 So thank you. to a lot of people.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

These girls

You may have seen my post from last week about my girls club girls. If not, I'll fill you in; they are the most amazingly smart and adorable group of grade three girls you could ever imagine. Every week they amaze me with their amazing insight, while still holding onto that child like innocence. This week I was in our room setting up, when three of my girls came in with a booklet. They handed it to me and told me they had spent all lunch time working on it. Inside they had written out the Lord's prayer, and all of the ten commandments ( with pictures!)!!  This is just one part of a page from it. I'm in love, it made my day. This was my reminder of the amazing humle, innocent love like no other of children. Its something I long for, and these little girls encourage me to find in myself.

3 And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. 4 Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. 5 And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me.
Matthew 18: 3-5

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

"Its a brother and a sister kinda thing"

"I don't believe an accident of birth makes people sisters or brothers.  It makes them siblings, gives them mutuality of parentage.  Sisterhood and brotherhood is a condition people have to work at."  ~Maya Angelou

"A sibling may be the keeper of one's identity, the only person with the keys to one's unfettered, more fundamental self."  ~Marian Sandmaier

"Our siblings.  They resemble us just enough to make all their differences confusing, and no matter what we choose to make of this, we are cast in relation to them our whole lives long."  ~Susan Scarf Merrell

"After a girl is grown, her little brothers - now her protectors - seem like big brothers.  "~Astrid Alauda